I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
