Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
