Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
