Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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