that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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