I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
