My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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