So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
