Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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