I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
