The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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