U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
