I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize