We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
