I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
