Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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