U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
