Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
