Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
