i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
