No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
