Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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