no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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