Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
