so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
