He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
