Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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