I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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