I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
