I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
