I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
