im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
