you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
