So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
