We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we're making bets on your personal life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
