I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
