peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do herpes really smell.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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