Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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