Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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