what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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