I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
