My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
