Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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