wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
