you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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