i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
