Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
