I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
