ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
