oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
