Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
