Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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