Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
