Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
