She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
