Me too!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
