respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Please don't give away my fajitas
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
