Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
