one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
